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  • Twenty Key Concepts from Psychotherapy

    Psychotherapy is one of the most valuable inventions of the last hundred years, with an exceptional power to raise our levels of emotional well-being, improve our relationships, redeem the atmosphere in our families and assist us in mining our professional potential. But it is also profoundly misunderstood and the subject of a host of unhelpful fantasies, hopes and suspicions. Its logic is rarely explained and its voice seldom heard with sufficient
  • On Needing to Find Something to Worry About

    It sounds paradoxical and absurd to think that some of us might need to find something to worry about in order to recover our equilibrium. Worry is, after all, something we should rightly hate to have to suffer and should engage with only when absolutely necessary. Yet some of us do start to feel distinctly nervous when things around us settle down and pervasive stillness descends. We start to feel anxiety about the future precisely when - and in a senseImage result for david hockney 1970s
  • How we are easily, too easily, 'triggered'

    If we were totally sane, we would respond to the present only on its own terms; we would worry or be angered or give way to anxiety only as much as the circumstances before us actually dictated.   But we are not - of course - most of us quite sane, as evidenced by the way that we respond with such disproportion to certain events in the here and now. We have occasional tendencies to get wildly more worried, angry and anxious than we should, if we wereImage result for david hockney
  • What is your attachment style?

      One of the greatest questionnaires in the history of 20th century psychology had a modest start in the pages of a local Colorado newspaper, The Rocky Mountain News, in July 1985. The work of two University of Denver psychologists, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver, the questionnaire asked readers to identify which of three statements most closely reflected who they were in love. To hugely improve our chances of thriving in relationships, we shouldImage result for rocky mountains
  • How We Get Damaged by Emotional Neglect

    Many of us are wandering the world bearing a lot of emotional damage. We may be depressed, anxious or very difficult around sex and relationships. We might in certain moods ask ourselves where the difficulties came from. It’s a continually weird, provocative and yet - in The School of Life's view - extremely accurate answer that the damage comes, almost always, from childhood, especially early childhood.     How we were cared for asImage result for bauhaus mother child

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